Regret
by JustAnotherWriterWannabe07
Summary: In which Oikawa regrets he didn't confess to Iwaizumi...


_Really… He never learns, huh?_

 _Winning isn't everything in this life._

 _I know he has atelophobia, but that's not an excuse to overwork himself._

 _Because… he's more than enough to me._

 _If anything, it's me who don't deserve him._

 _I know this feeling will ruin our relationship, but I can't help it._

 _I fell in love with my best friend not that I'll admit it._

 _I fell in love with my childhood friend who has flaws under that perfect face._

 _I fell in love with Oikawa Tooru._

 _Today, as usual, I have to drag him out of the gym with a bloody nose. He has been overworking himself for almost a month! Didn't he hear what the doctor said? If he keeps doing this, he'll never be able to play sports again! Can't he see that I'm worried?_

 _He may not be a genius, but he's the best setter I've ever met. He brings the best of that player. He's a good captain. He led us to win. He's done enough for the team—for us. It's just that… he's so hard on himself sometimes. The climax is when we lost to Karasuno, to Kageyama Tobio, the kouhai he despises._

 _I want to punch him for good sometimes. He just can't seem to understand his condition—no, more like, he doesn't even care as long as he wins, as long as he defeats Ushijima. I, too, want to defeat him at court, but I can't understand why is he that obsessed with winning._

"For God's sake, winning isn't everything, dumbass!"

 _I want to say that him._

 _But no words came out when I see his face. That defeated, hopeless face._

 _How can I destroy what's left of him? How can I say that to him when his last hope is me?_

What kind of friend would I be if I do that?

"I need you."

 _Of course, I'm a wing spiker, after all._

"You're the best."

 _That goes without saying._

"Don't leave me."

 _Who would leave you? Even though you're a trash._

"I love you."

 _I was shocked when you say that. I didn't think the feeling is mutual._

 _But I should have realized it the second you hid your face from me._

It was a joke. A simple dare from someone.

 _I just put on an annoyed face and smack him like usual. But what he didn't know was I was heart-broken. Kind of devastated, but I won't let that hinder my training. So for the rest of the day, I just keep on doing spikes that are (apparently) scary enough according to him._

 _If only he knows how bad he hurt me by saying those words in a joking manner when my feeling is no joke._

 _That's it. I'm done with all this 'just best-friend' bullshit._

 _I'm going to confess tomorrow. Whether he'll be disgusted or I'll be accepted, which I highly doubt, it doesn't matter anymore._

 _Ah… I failed. It's a failure._

 _A cute girl confessed to him. And she looks so happy after he says something to her. I'm guessing Oikawa will brag about her soon. Maybe at practice tomorrow… I don't know. I don't want to know._

 _I want to cry._

 _Geez… who knew that a trash could make me so… so… down._

" _Iwa-chan~"_

" _Shut up, Trashykawa."_

" _So mean!"_

" _What do you want?"_

 _He just smiled and look around, as if waiting for something or someone. The girl from before came to the gym and Oikawa's smile became wider. "Ah, Mira-chan!"_

 _Shit. I have no time for this._

" _I'll go ahead."_

" _Wha- wait, Iwa-chan! I thought we're going home together?" his voice shook at the end. It kinda breaks my heart hearing him like that._

" _Not today." I quickly walked out of the gym, leaving the two lovebirds alone._

" _Wait, Iwa-chan, this gir-"_

 _I can't hear the rest of the sentence as I had already walked out of the gym._

 _I don't need to see them being all lovey-dovey in front of me. Plus, I gave him his privacy. He should be thankful._

"Iwa-chan..."

Oikawa's voice trembled and full of sadness. Salty Tsukishima tears running down his face like a waterfall. He couldn't stop his sobbing, he only ended up louder when he tried.

"Iwaizumi," he called out once again, "I'm sorry." His knees gave out. The Grand King collapsed on the dirt. He continues to cry like a baby, ignoring the people who look at him, judging him silently.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa only stood by his side, holding their own sob, patting Oikawa on the back. It's not long before they broke down too.

That day, on the way home, too blinded by his emotions, Iwaizumi Hajime got hit by a car.

Oikawa, who was chasing him with Mira, saw it coming yet they were late.

And Iwaizumi's death is what he got. He was... broken, to put it simply. Iwaizumi was his life. Now that he's gone, what could Oikawa do? Kill himself? Surely his best friend won't like that. Plus, Matsukawa, Hanamaki, and the rest of the team would prevent him doing that.

That day, when he thought he'd receive another confession from a girl, turns out she had feelings for Iwaizumi. He was surprised and happy for his friend yet he felt his heart stings a little. He agreed to set them up.

But on that day, the very same day when he's going to set them up, a car hit him.

A GODDAMN CAR TOOK HIS LIFE—HIS IWAIZUMI'S LIFE!

He regrets not telling how he felt about him.

He regrets not making moves on him.

He regrets agreeing with that girl.

He regrets not chasing him faster.

He regrets not being able to save him.

He regrets having doubts in his heart.

He regrets fearing that Hajime might reject him.

But most all, he regrets hurting Iwaizumi by acting like a straight man.

He hurt him.

So bad.

That it killed both him and Iwaizumi.

"Iwa-chan... I love you..."

And for that moment, Oikawa, Hanamaki, and Matsukawa swore they felt Iwaizumi gave them a warm hug while saying things like "It's not your fault."

They looked up and once again the cemetery was filled with their loud cries.

 _I waizumi Hajime was in front of them in his ghost form._


End file.
